I am on stage. You are right next to me and I can feel your presence without having to actually look at you.

I feel lifted up with these people, encouraged by the one in front of me, supported by the one behind and next to me. I look in front of me and I try to capture this moment for ever.

Singing this song to the trees. Making my print to the universe and saying that Yes, I am Ready!

I am ready to be free, freed from my chains, freed from my old self, beliefs, and life. I am open to this new chapter.

I have met my people, my family. I am loved and cared for for who I am. My ups and downs. My strenghs and my doubts. I feel so much joy, so much gratitude. I love them all so much. And I love you, so much.

 

I have to talk to you.

I just really have to. I can not leave like this. I can not leave without expressing to you what has been eating me up inside. Your voice. Your eyes. Your legs. I don’t know what it is. But I am drawn to you. Not only physically. But spiritually. Sexually. Magnetically. Lively. 

I wait for hours in front of the Domino game. It is actually fun. I feel good in this “garage”. When everyone finally leaves, you tell me to follow you and we watch the stars. 

You tell me how you feel and I do too. I can finally let it out. I feel happy beyond the stars. 
I am special and unique to you. When I finally reach for your lips, my head just ceases. My whole body is dancing. How warm and good your tongue feels. 

 

I am so happy I did it. So happy I took the risk and sang.

I dared to suck and finally I reached the stars. I feel loved and at peace. 

And I saw you. I sang it for you.

 

I am talking to you. I don’t want this moment to ever stop. I can feel the bubble we’re in. It is the most amazingly beautiful bubble I have ever been in. I know we’re flirting but it might be even more. I come back to my tent and my whole body is alive. 

I am so happy I cannot sleep, I don’t want to sleep. I am feeling it. I am sensing each emotion.

 

I would like to know him more. What is he doing. Could I follow him around. I consider it. But no, I need to keep my balance. Remember that I am whole and that I just trust life. 

I get invited to this party. It sounds fun. I sit down and start talking. We laugh. I feel good. 

I look down and when I rise my head back up I see him. My belly dances. 

 

I love it. I loved my classes. 

I loved the writing performance. 

I loved the singing class. 

I loved the bluegrass, although I have to admit I kind of took this class to get closer to him. 

I loved the drum. I feel so good playing the drum. 

He asked if I was taking the drum and then we talked for the first time. 

He just traveled the world. That’s amazing. He is so great with children. He is so great, point.

 

I start to feel better. I woke up early again this morning. 

At breakfast I talked with some people. They were nice. I liked our conversation.

I went to the piano room in the afternoon and I played.

It's nice. It's like freedom and music mixed together in a bowl of love. 

Who is that guy. I don't know why I feel drawn to him...  

 

I feel a bit weird. All of these people that know each other and that I don’t know. 

How many times will I have to explain how I got here.

Am I even going to have this great experience? Gavin said this place was magical. I see the potential but where is the magic. I feel like these people don’t care about me. They don’t try to get to know me. I’ve been going to bed at 10 pm… Well at least I get up early and meditate and yoga stretch. And I enjoy my classes. Let’s just be here. I guess I don’t have to do anything or be anything. I can just be.

 

What the hell am I doing. God I really don’t want to sleep in a tent. I’m super scared. And taking a shower here. Oh that’s going to suck. I can’t sing anymore. My voice sucks. I wish I could haved stayed longer in LA, it was sunny and nice and chill. What made me come here exactly.

I never understood. It was like a decision that I did not make. It seemed like something I had no choice but had to do it. Who made that decision for me?

My higher self? Is this place going to bring me something important?